Bought a toy xylophone last week. Too attractive and interesting for me to resist getting it. Anyway, it has a pointy stick with a ball on its end, and she just loves licking and mouthing the lollipop, and refuses to play it the “correct” way. I was frustrated and worried (that she might fall and stab herself to death), therefore, kept it away from her if she is alone. I also spanked her little hands whenever she mouthed that lollipop, hoping she would understand eating that wasn’t permissible. Seems that she never understood.

However, after reading “Positive Discipline, The First Three Years”, the authors demonstrated that spanking, punishment, shamming are not the answers to training children to keep away from dangerous objects. They believe in using distractions and choices, training and not abandonment, redirection, etc. Saying “no” to kids (who like to explore and touch almost everything) is unwise, because “it is normal and developmentally appropriate for toddlers to explore and want to touch”, and usually the child “never learns” even after countless “no”. Doubt and shame could be instilled into the child instead of autonomy too. Distractions should be used to divert their attention to something else. Furthermore, they believe that “children under the age of three do not understand ‘no’ in the way most parents think they do”.

I decided to put that theory to test. Whenever the kiddo tries to pop the lolli into her mouth, I will remove it from her mouth, and then guide her hand with the stick to hit on the metal bars. A lot of patience needed, but amazingly, it works! I am fascinated today when I saw her hitting the xylophone after I repeated the removing and guiding procedure. It took me about a week, but worth the effort (and of course, she still prefers putting that stick into her mouth, kind of reflex?).