Comments on: Compare and compete http://huileng.seng.sg/2004/09/21/compare-and-compete/ Just another WordPress weblog Sun, 20 May 2012 18:29:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Phoebe http://huileng.seng.sg/2004/09/21/compare-and-compete/comment-page-1/#comment-87 Phoebe Thu, 01 Jan 1970 07:30:00 +0000 #comment-87 We've all been thru this since we are young ; parents comparing our mental, physcial development with our peers! Eeks! We are raised in different background, exposed to various life experiences. NO one person can tell us if we are doing right or wrong... or whether or lifestyle or theirs should be THE lifestyle to follow. There is no end to it I hate it when people compare Tim's development. I would prefer to share than to compare. A couple whom i know has a son who is 4 days younger than Tim. The wife would always ask me what i feed Tim, to make him so chubby. She told me that she always feel sad or inferior when she sees Tim. Her husband doesnt help much either, comparing why she is still 'fat' after pregnancy and i am already back to my pre preggy size. Gosh! Very tactless indeed! Not only did her husband put her down unknowingly, she gets unwanted stress from meeting me and tim :/ We cant change other people's perception but we could manage and control ours. For me, i would leave it be. If they want to compare, fine by me. If they think that their child is superior, fine by me too. I would gladly share their joy on one condition - that they dont put me down in the process with any intent. We all live our lives the way we want. Raise our babes the way we deemed the fittest. Dont let other external factors deter us from making our little ones' childhood the most memorable and enjoyable time for them and for us :) You have been an excellent mum - from your logs :P Keep it going lady! When Yau Yau gets older and read your blog, she will appreciate all that you have done to love, nurture her and protect her :) Its well worth it, we always get rewarded by every little chuckle they make, every smile they beem at us :) Thumbs up for you! :) We’ve all been thru this since we are young ; parents comparing our mental, physcial development with our peers! Eeks! We are raised in different background, exposed to various life experiences. NO one person can tell us if we are doing right or wrong… or whether or lifestyle or theirs should be THE lifestyle to follow. There is no end to it

I hate it when people compare Tim’s development. I would prefer to share than to compare. A couple whom i know has a son who is 4 days younger than Tim. The wife would always ask me what i feed Tim, to make him so chubby. She told me that she always feel sad or inferior when she sees Tim. Her husband doesnt help much either, comparing why she is still ‘fat’ after pregnancy and i am already back to my pre preggy size. Gosh! Very tactless indeed! Not only did her husband put her down unknowingly, she gets unwanted stress from meeting me and tim :/

We cant change other people’s perception but we could manage and control ours. For me, i would leave it be. If they want to compare, fine by me. If they think that their child is superior, fine by me too. I would gladly share their joy on one condition - that they dont put me down in the process with any intent. We all live our lives the way we want. Raise our babes the way we deemed the fittest. Dont let other external factors deter us from making our little ones’ childhood the most memorable and enjoyable time for them and for us :)

You have been an excellent mum - from your logs :P Keep it going lady! When Yau Yau gets older and read your blog, she will appreciate all that you have done to love, nurture her and protect her :) Its well worth it, we always get rewarded by every little chuckle they make, every smile they beem at us :) Thumbs up for you! :)

]]> By: hait http://huileng.seng.sg/2004/09/21/compare-and-compete/comment-page-1/#comment-88 hait Thu, 01 Jan 1970 07:30:00 +0000 #comment-88 Totally agrees with you, we should be sharing joy of each other milestones without putting anyone down in the process with any intent. We are so used to this comparing mentality. I guess I might be doing that too, if not openly, then unconsciously. I believe most of the time, people are not trying to act superior when their baby is faster, or questioned the parents or baby's abilities if the other baby happens to be slower. Sometimes, the parents are so full of joy in sharing that they become tactless, or they are so concerned that they failed to be sensitive. We are all overly concerned parents who are proud of our babies. A simple praise will fly us to the sky, and an (unintentional) raise eyebrows might just sink our heart to the deepest deep. So, like what you have said, we have to managed our own emotions during such situation. Well, all parents do things with the best intention in mind when the kids are concerned, so, we are all excellent mums (self praising...haha). Totally agrees with you, we should be sharing joy of each other milestones without putting anyone down in the process with any intent. We are so used to this comparing mentality. I guess I might be doing that too, if not openly, then unconsciously. I believe most of the time, people are not trying to act superior when their baby is faster, or questioned the parents or baby’s abilities if the other baby happens to be slower. Sometimes, the parents are so full of joy in sharing that they become tactless, or they are so concerned that they failed to be sensitive.

We are all overly concerned parents who are proud of our babies. A simple praise will fly us to the sky, and an (unintentional) raise eyebrows might just sink our heart to the deepest deep. So, like what you have said, we have to managed our own emotions during such situation.

Well, all parents do things with the best intention in mind when the kids are concerned, so, we are all excellent mums (self praising…haha).

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