It is almost a formality when people ask for the kid’s name during party or gathering. I will introduce the baby as “Zee Yau”. All friends and relative immediately understood that her name is Zee Yau. But try saying that to my ex-students. They will repeat the “what’s her name?” question again and again, until you get so frustrated and asked them, “What’s your problem, Zee Yau not nice izzit?” To that generation, the transliteration (surprise! I learnt this term from James here) of her Chinese name “Zee Yau” is not appropriate enough. So cheena and obiang! Must have a proper English name! Arghh, wanted to twist their necks and crush their heads.

James and I did have some heated debates on this English name issue before the baby arrived. I wasn’t keen in giving her an English name. Yah, I am a cheena Chinese chauvinist (much much better then terrorist!) who insisted that having a Chinese name is enough, she doesn’t need another name. Some more, I will choose a beautiful and meaningful one.

Reason number two, I always have a bad habit of twisting people’s name (especially English names) into some not so nice nicknames. I have cousins who becomes “lor neng¹” (Lauren), lychee (Nancy), my uncle becomes “Nissan sunny” (Sunny), my cousin’s ex-boyfriend is 烫不死² (Thomas). I had students named “ang dao ni³” (Anthony), “jiat liao bi⁴” (Jeremy), friends become “niao bin⁵” (Melvin), “heng lui⁶” (Henry), “pi de⁷” (Peter), “por⁸” (remember the Taiwan por LP case? por for Paul) . And of course, my husband is 煎不死⁹ or “jam”. So many colourful nicknames for other people, doesn’t want the retribution to be fallen upon Yauyau.

Since James was so adamant about giving her an English name (he insisted that people will remember her better with an English name, which I agreed), I reluctantly gave in. Afterall, she still has that important Chinese name. However, my initial bias against English names made everything sound weird to my ears, just couldn’t find any that pleased me. In the end, I narrowed down to Eleanor, because I love the Dr. Eleanor Arroway in Contact, and Gill, sweet and short. Turned out one of our friend just named herself Gill. As for Eleanor, the father couldn’t even pronounce it properly.

I changed my search direction, maybe something funky. Since James will be attending the Apricot meeting in KL during my due date, how about naming her “Apricot”? Actors and singers can have names like Jet, Sky, Apple, Noodle, River, Ocean, Moon, Sun, Panda, no harm having another fruit (more weird names here). But well, sounds more monkey then funky to us. I love the middle earth, how about something Elvish? I did a self learning crash course on Elvish online, gone thru hundreds of elvish words and chanced upon an online translator. How about Elen, Elena or Gil’ (star), Elanor’ (sunstar flower), Lorien (dream), Leitha (free). Almost decided on Lorien, but just didn’t feel 100% comfortable. It was like trying too hard to be different, act cute, act smart, act elvish…Well, just couldn’t connect with any of the short listed names.

So, for the time being, her English name shall be Zee Yau. She can be Z the little antz if she likes.

¹ lor neng: 卤蛋 in hokkien, braised egg
² 烫不死: iron long long also cannot die
³ ang dao ni: 红豆奶 in hokkien, red soy bean milk
⁴ jiat liao bi: 吃了米 in hokkien，ate and wasted the rice, useless bum
⁵ niao bin: 猫脸 in hokkien, cat face
⁶ heng lui: 还钱 in hokkien, pay money
⁷ pi de: 鼻短 in hokkien, short nose
⁸ por: to curry favour
⁹ 煎不死: fry long long also cannot die