I think the kid was getting really bored for the past week or so. She has been walking round and round the house non-stop. I have no idea what she was trying to do. My only conclusion was that she was totally bored at home. That was until she fell in love with the beds and sofas.

Children really find ways and means to amuse themselves very fast. She decides to get very involved and busy with the beds and sofas. This game of hers guarantee two things: she can have fun playing free falling without hurting her head; she also derives great thrill anticipating adults catching her.

This game is giving me big headache, because there are three sofa sets at my father’s place, and she is madly in love with our bed too. I have to keep the bedroom door close all the time to keep her away from the bed; else she would just climb up and wait for me to “discover” her. Or she would get onto one of the sofas, sits there and wait for some adults to catch her mischief.

If she just laze around on the bed or relaxes on the sofa, I would have let her climb until she drop tired. But her intention of getting onto those forbidden high grounds is really just to get the kick out of seeing us adults spotting her, wagging our fingers at her and removing her from it. And when she gets excited, she would just gives herself a freefall backward or prances like a blind spirited horse, which might land her onto the floor or some sharp corners; no sense of danger at all, not mentioning her lousy balancing skill.

I get that cold chilly freak out feeling every time I find her on the sofa or bed alone, totally worried that she will loose her balance. Any sudden movement from me will greatly excites her, so I am suppose to move towards her in the most calm and compose manner, even though my heart is pounding like mad. It is exhausting keeping an eye on her all the time.

I have been very forgetful ever since I was expecting the kid. Except in the area of remembering textbook content, I used to have quite good memory. Things like who wore what, where who and who met, what who and who ate, what who and who talked about, all the useless details, I can recall them quite easily, and therefore, James relies on me quite a lot to remember all these very minute things, which he can conveniently deletes from his memory and retrieves them from mine on demand.

But I realised I am loosing my amazing memory power. I could remember almost all the names of his friends (local and overseas, most of them I never met before), which organisations they belongs to, which conferences they attended together and what food they ate; if they talked about their family, everything would be stored in my brain. Nowadays, they are not categorised as individuals any more, they are either, Singaporeans, Chinese, Japanese, ang moh with beard, ang moh without beard or others. I couldn’t map any characteristics to the individuals anymore.

I went into the kitchen wanting to boil water to make tea, but ended up spending sometime trying to recall this task which I need to perform. After filling the kettle and get the water to boil, I completely forgotten about the tea I am suppose to make and had to reboil the water again.

I turn on the computer wanting to do some internet banking stuff, but after starting my firefox, couldn’t really remember that I am supposed to login and pay my bill and happily went net surfing. Got all those reminders, yeah, forgot to pay all the bills last month.

I also found myself washing only 3/4 of the laundry I am suppose to do, the rest were lying somewhere else which I forgotten to pick up. Sometimes I forgot to switch on the power. Most of the time, I forgotten about putting the washed load into the dryer.

Is my brain disfragmenting or is this something which happens to most moms? I don’t think I have so many things on my mind. Have I been unconsciously prioritizing all things “baby” and pushed everything else into the deep deep memory. I want my memory power back!

I have not been in a very beautiful mood these few days. The weather is so warm, which makes me very frustrated. My dad’s car battery went flat, and he made me go to the work shop to change it. Although it took only about 10minutes, I was irritated, because I was about to go shopping. Well, served me right for trying to save petrol by driving his car.

Then the worst happened last night, my 大姨妈 revisited me after almost 2 years of keeping her nagging presence away (ok, pregancry included). Argh, I feel so disappointed, demoralised, irked….no words can described it at all. This might sounds selfish, but one important factor that motivates me to continue breastfeeding is to keep that nasty and unwelcomed 大姨妈 away for as long as I can.

Now she is back… sob, I need to go and nurse my lost….

Absolutely bad air this morning. Last year, due to the demolishing of the old shop houses followed by excavating and piling work just right beside our estate, we were fed with a constant supply of dust. So much so that I have to keep most of the windows closed and sent the baby away to my father’s place. The situation at the construction site has improved, and now comes the haze again.

We are living just around the catchment area, suppose to be enjoying vast grenery and very fresh air. It used to be those misty cloudy fog canopying the trees at Bt Timah Hill or Mindef, but mist doesn’t linger around when the sun gets hotter. Its the terrible haze, I can smell the burnt in the air. I can’t even see the BBC relay tower which appears to be so clear everyday. Didn’t dare to bring the kid outdoor because of the haze.

The air is clearer now, hopefully we would get more rain to cleanse our dirty island.