May 23rd, 2005
Absolutely Scared of Strangers
» motherhood
I confirmed the kid is suffering from extreme stranger anxiety. For the past few playgroup sessions, she has been crying extra loud and refused to go near the others when I brought her out to another mama’s place.
Last night, my friend Steven visited us, and she went screaming for her dear life again, as if some monster was extending their claws at her. And just now when she met my sister’s boyfriend for the first time, she started exercising her lungs again. She was so distressed! She started crying hopelessly when she saw the strangers and kept away from them with a minimum 2metres safe distance. Any nearer will just trigger her anxiety and send her blasting into our ears again. Power lungs, should consider sending her for some opera singing training.
Steven, also a father of a toddler, assured me that her behaviour was most normal. But isn’t it better if the child is able to overcome this anxiety, understand that there is nothing frightening, and be more independent? Ah, I got some reassuring answers from this wise daddy. He believes that at this stage of their life, it is only normal and natural for them to be dependent and attach to the parents. There is no hurry or no need for them to be independent. I should be more worried if the kid doesn’t want to be attached. Oh well, they are comforting to hear.
Luckily she is not so prone to behave like that in places like shopping mall or playground. Maybe she knows the consequence of crying too much outside, that will risk being grounded at home. Just need to bear with the thunderous crying for a period of time until it passes.
May 24th, 2005 at 10:08 am
read it somewhere that children tends to have a period of time where their self awareness would raise and they would start to fear the unknown, ie strangers crowding around her, strange environment. so Yau yau’s response is quite normal….. a few of my nephews and nieces survived tat period of time unscathed….. so dun worry, you are going to be a terrific mom!!
all the best!!
cheerio,
yl.
May 24th, 2005 at 10:19 am
Your friend Steven is quite right. This is just a phase, it will pass soon.
May 24th, 2005 at 1:09 pm
after the self awareness phrase pass, little Yau Yau would display the been-there-done-that look……
all the best!!
cheerio,
yl.
May 24th, 2005 at 10:31 pm
Yeah, don’t worry. My daughter flounted such vocal operatics too when she was about that age. Plus her octopus-like grip around me whenever strangers approach, as if in tune to some gripping horror music in the background.
I told myself that it was probably her way of getting mummy’s attention that she’s in danger of being harrassed or kidnapped by strangers since she didn’t have the words to articulate them yet.
She’s alright with people now, in general. When she does object, she articulates her objection in words and body language, to my embarrassment sometimes. “Don’t want, go away” are her favourite words to rid herself of mollycoddling strangers who try to touch her. To those more ardent and persistent ones, she kicks them, or tries to. Sigh…. again I’m telling myself this is just a phase she’s going through…. And that I’d rather this than have her expose herself to unnecessary danger of warming up to every single stranger.
May 24th, 2005 at 10:48 pm
Thanks for all the reassurance. Just have to wait for this phase to pass. I think the embarrassment of her “unfriendly” behaviour bothers me, but then again, I really don’t have to worry about her following some friendly strangers and wanders away.
May 24th, 2005 at 11:46 pm
My 9 month plus baby girl has NO stranger anxiety most of the time… she even wanted the nurse who did her developmental assessment at the polyclinic to carry her after the check up was done. She stretched out her arms and smiled at her, wanting a “bao bao” (hug).
She smiles at strangers who smile at her. Shopping centres, lifts, pple who walk past her.
It’s not good if this continues in the long run actually. Even if she’s kidnapped, she’d happily smile at the kidnapper for a “bao bao”.
Just yesterday, we were at BP Plaza Four Leaves bakery. My sis-in-law was carrying her while I was paying for the pastries. Soon after, she came and told me a male stranger came up to them and tickled my girl’s feet. WAH BIANG. The !@#$%^ guy didn’t even acknowledge the presence of my SIL, not even saying anything, just came and tickled my daughter. SIAO. I don’t even go to other pple’s pets and touch them without permission. He definitely crossed the social boundaries already. I’m still quite angry at the guy. Stupid baby molester. I want my girl to learn self-defence next time. Wait a minute. I donno how to do self-defence myself either. Err. Better ask Hubby.
Heh, paiseh for the rambling. ;P
May 24th, 2005 at 11:59 pm
Cookiedough, you are so funny…haha!
April 24th, 2006 at 11:34 pm
I got similar problem in kindergarten. But i quickly get over it in a few days. Don’t think I got this problem at home.
it’s just natural. I remember even primary 1 new student can have this problem.
I’m 28 now.