June 20th, 2005
No Action Father’s Day
» motherhood
Oh dear, I didn’t even realise yesterday was Father’s Day until I read some blogs today.
James never remembers any of these days, maybe except my birthday and yauyau’s. Since he has been away from home and is never really close to his father, he will never remember it. I don’t remember these special days too and rely heavily on the TV or papers to remind me, but I seem to have totally missed them.
I should have just gone home and have a dinner with my father. We did celebrate in the past. But the cozy atmosphere changed since my father decided to remarry. The old home that I am so use to be living in, the familiar place where I could do whatever I like and could behave like the matriarch, suddenly belongs to another family. It feels like loosing the status of big boss there and can only behave like a married daughter who is only visiting. I can boss around my mom comfortable (with respect lah), but not with my stepmom. I can yell at my mom to get her to speed up her action, but not with the stepmom.
Since there is no dearest mama for us to shower our affections on, we conveniently delete the part about our father too. Well, not exactly also. I am already a mother myself, and really don’t need a stepmom to provide me any motherly love. It is difficult for us to build a relationship, especially when both parties never try to do so. There is no reason for us to celebrate mother’s day with our stepmom, so we didn’t. So I thought, wouldn’t it be very insensitive to her if we have a big dinner party for father’s day. Will she be hurt? Will she feels unwelcome in the household?
Anyway, that was a no action day for my father. I hope he does not feel unwanted! I know what, I will go and buy him some durians later.
June 20th, 2005 at 5:38 pm
you are not alone actually. forgot about father’s day too. didnt celebrate. actually, we never celebrate father’s day or mother’s day. too commercialised. we prefer to celebrate the birthdays… we do not fall into the traps of capitalism!!
my parents also insist on not celebrating father’s/mother’s day. they think it is 无聊…
all the best!!
cheerio,
yl.
June 20th, 2005 at 9:14 pm
hey, don’t worry too much about it. parents have a way of knowing that their kids appreciate them. anyway, i’m sure your lew lian will speak volumes…
June 20th, 2005 at 9:28 pm
I think when someone dear to us passes on, a part of us also die with them. If i were in your shoe, i don’t think i will behave any differently. I might just be plain silly but it would be hard for me to accept a step dad or step mum… or should i say, i wouldn’t be in approval for that to happen :/
June 21st, 2005 at 3:28 am
Ahhh…. Nothing says love like a durian for Father’s Day.
Dads will be dads. He’ll be happy with his durian =)
June 21st, 2005 at 9:12 am
yl, I don’t know about your parents, but some of them secretely yarn for something even though they said “waste money, don’t want, etc”, just like when I say buying flowers are wasteful, but I still love getting a bouquet anyway,
phoebe, yah loh, I couldn’t accept it initially too, even though I am already a grown up. but we couldn’t really object to his decision.
andrew and Irene, durians speak volumes!! always the favourite fruit in the family.
June 21st, 2005 at 9:25 am
kekeke…. we tried… when we started out working, we did want to bring them out for a nice makan during father/mother’s day. between my parents, they came up with a million and one reasons why we should save up the money. for my two dear old folks *my parents would scalp me alive for this term of endearment…*, the amount of money you spent during father/mother’s day is not value for money because everything is more expensive, more commercialised, less value-for-money, there is a big crowd and my mom is claustrophobic. so they would prefer we save up the money or rather, in the words of my learned mother,”accumulate the loyalty points like how the supermarket does…”, and bring them for a nice holiday or something @ the end of it… after much nagging, the three little pigs of the family *now now, my brother and sister would definitely scalp me for this term of endearment* decided not to torture our ears anymore!!
all the best!!
cheerio,
yl.
June 21st, 2005 at 12:00 pm
hmmm my situation also as complicated. I offered to buy lunch for my dad but he insist he wanna cook. so we had dinner with my dad last tuesday, early celebration.
I forgotten all about my step father!!! How could I??!! I have a pretty good relationship with my stepdad, he treats me just like his own and he really dotes on me and frankly, i like him better than my own mum
I have an uncle who is a fatherly figure to me, during those years when my parents were separated, he took care of me alot and I regard him like a father and I forgot to wish him happy father’s day too!! HOW COULD I????
I bought a bottle of perfume for Kiat for father’s day on behalf of my kid though :p
June 21st, 2005 at 3:05 pm
My father is a man of few words, very “old-fashioned” type of father.
It was only until 6 years ago when he underwent a heart bypass that i finally understand him better. Stern-face as he may seem, he’s just as vulnerable as any human being. ..since young we’ve always know him as the “strong daddy”. We didn’t know that he, like everyone of us, needs love and concern too.
Now, i would say our relationship are better than before, we celebrated his birthday and father’s day last week as it’s just 2 days apart. I can see from the smile on his face that he’s very contented to have his children and grandchildren around him, though he’s still the “dad with few words”
:)