July 12th, 2005
耍赖
» motherhood
Do they have a word for that in English? Wait, I think I found something close, temper tantrums! I have seen that from Alice my ex-colleague’s son Daniel last year. It was a sight then; Daniel just acted up suddenly and threw himself on the floor and started sobbing, waving his hands and kicking his legs. Alice was cool. She declared him the Oscar award best actor and ignored him. Sure enough, he stopped after no one gave him a damn.
My turn now! A few months ago, her strategy to defy my instruction to move on was to plaster her bums onto the floor until I scooped her up. Brilliant move, 以不变应万变, that’s what I called it. I can handle that pretty well, no big deal. But she has improvised her tactics lately and started blackmailing me by lying on the floor at supermarkets and shopping malls. It is a quiet defiance, she usually doesn’t cry or scream, just lie there, face down, and refuse to budge. It is quite embarrassing sometime, when the others look on with an amused look. But I guess most of them, especially the parents, can empathies with me.
Words I gotten from experience parents: (within a safe environment that no one is going to get hurt) if it is at home, just ignore her and walk away, she cannot function without an audience. If out of home, activate our protective shield against embarrassment, stay nearby and let her continue her show until she gets tired of it and stand up on her own.
Works fine so far. But I can’t help calling her a 无赖.
July 13th, 2005 at 1:32 am
I am so not looking forward to these toddler tantrums. Already my big baby (11 months old) is showing signs of her fiesty and fiery temper… >:(
And remember i said some time back that my baby girl loves pple and smiles at anyone… now she shows signs of stranger anxiety already. Looks like i can’t escape it… she sticks on to me like glue when suddenly faced with many new faces when guests come to my place.
Sigh, say too early! ;-P
July 13th, 2005 at 8:39 am
You are so brave! I wouldn’t know what to do if it happen to me! I guess this is a phase and it shall all pass. Hang in there!
July 13th, 2005 at 9:10 am
You are cool indeed. I don’t know what to do, especially when we’re out of the house. Sara does the same thing - crawling and then lying face down on the ground. I get so mang zhang that I just scoop her up, only to find a silly grin on her face, like she won the battle. ARGH! And Japanese children here are like perfect angels - makes Sara look like a real brat.
July 13th, 2005 at 11:33 am
I think the your baby is fast approaching the “terrible two” stage… And for mine, it started few months before he becomes 2 and thankfully (& hopefully) ended few months later after we deploy the stand-looking-non-interested-with-a-poker-face tactics at him throwing tantrums.
July 14th, 2005 at 11:17 pm
Wow…You were really cool headed!
But I guess it is a phase one must pass cos my SIL’s daughter used to bang her head against the floor at the departmental store or anyway if she doesn’t get what she wanted! What a scene!
So scary! Ethyl is displaying bits of it now whenever we refused her a toy or divert her away from something that amuses her!
I’m trying hard to instill her the so-called ‘Right behaviour’ and I shall hang on there!
You too! Hang on there!
July 17th, 2005 at 10:53 pm
I like the Russian adjective better than the English “temper tantrum” term. I think it captures the feelings more accurately: caprizzni.
July 22nd, 2005 at 11:30 am
When I saw mothers “disciplining” their children in public, either scolding or worse, beating them, I always feel sad for the children and mothers.
They probably did not know much about children behaviour like you all do. They are hurting their kids inside-out. When the kids cried, I wanted to cry with them.
Indeed, many mothers do not know why life are so misearable. Sometimes, they just let go of their frastration on their innocent children, without knowing it.