Our preferred driver 马师傅 has 3 children. It is already rare to see a family with 2 children, let alone 3. Luckily his no. 3 is a boy, else he will most probably try for no. 4. I didn’t asked the exact amount, but he must have be fined at least a few tens of thousand RMB. He is fond of his girls as much as his boy, but somehow, he must have a boy in the family.

And when our ayi 黄姐 gave birth to her first born, who happens to be a girl, her mother-in-law didn’t even bother to visit her or help her out during her confinement month until her own mother came to her rescue.

The idea of having a male heir is still very prevalent, especially among the rural countryside. Remember that hard sell man who did the cleaning demo for my flooring 2 days ago? He too has a daughter and is going to try for a second one, a boy in particular. He said both his parents and in-laws wanted them to try for a boy, to carry on the family name. According to him, couples are entitled to try for a second one if their first born happens to be a girl (in the rural countryside). So, what happen if it happens to be a girl? He said they could always do an ultra sound scan to check the fetus gender. Isn’t that illegal? Well, money could solve the problem. It could be done at around 2000RMB.

If they managed to conceive and give birth to a boy, this little prince will carry both his and his wife’s family name. His family name is 李 (Li), and his wife is 赵 (Zhao), the son will bear the combined surname of 李赵 (Li Zhao). The interesting part is, his father-in-law will have to pay him 20k RMB for that grandson to co-carry his family name of 赵. This is the first time I heard of such practice, but it must be something common among the countryside.

To us, having more children means additional responsibilities and higher cost. To many of the Chinese country folks, more children means more protection when they grow old, 多一个孩子，老来就多一份保障。Such differing mentality. Forget about relying on the children, I would be glad if my kids don’t give me additional problems when I grow old.

While I wanted to get either the cakes or strawberry for Zeeyau and the school bus for 弟弟, they went against my wish and wanted the black cat and the green frogie.

I know Zeeyau likes black cat and it does look cute, so I agreed. However, I think 弟弟 choice of the frog bag is really bad, so I manged to convince him to choose another frogie backpack instead.

However, they were both out of stock.

So in the end, I bought an elephant bag for Zeeyau, which happened to be her first choice bag before discovering the black cat.

Need a small lunch box for Zeeyau as well, so I thought the strawberry box is lovely to have. Out of stock too, and have to settle for the blue school bus. Not a bad idea, both the kids like it and 弟弟 could use it in future as well.

So, these are the two items I got in the end. I am still waiting for the green frogie bag to be back in stock.

I just sent the super hard sell guy away. I am not sure if he was really frustrated and angry with me for not buying his product after doing a supposedly free cleaning session, because he sounded damn pissed. Might be an emotional blackmailing tactic, else, he must have thought I am an extremely stingy Singaporean.

I bought some cleaning products from Carrefour a few days ago and was entitled to a free floor cleaning session. The product’s company called me and arranged for an appointment. I specifically asked if there will be any fee incurred and if there will be any promotion of products sale, the lady at the line replied no, so I went ahead to arrange for a time slot.

The man came and I asked again if there will be any fees and told him I am not going to buy anything. The product he used was a kind of essential oil (he said from palm tree, err…?), just spray straight from the bottle onto the floor and use a mop to spread it like our usual mopping routine. He claimed that the oil is better then wax (smelly and sticky), easy to use, give a matte sheen and has anti bacterial component (which I highly suspect). He also said the same spray can be used to clean wooden doors and proceed to spray my doors and USED THE SAME MOP TO WIPE THE DOORS!!! I knew I have frowned and my expression changed, but I think he believed there wasn’t anything wrong with using that same dirty piece of floor mop. Thank goodness my wooden table was covered with stuff, else he might use that on the table too!

He mopped and talked and finished his demonstration and proceeded to selling his products. He talked so fast that I hadn’t had a chance to tell him that I didn’t intend to buy anything.

The spray cost about $250 (forgot the exact amount, around there), but if I join as a junior member now, I can get buy 4 bottles at $198 each, get a mop free ($76) and free cleaning sessions from him. If I join as a VIP member, I can buy 6 bottles at $198 each, get another free bottle, a free mop, and free floor, furniture and glass windows cleaning sessions.

I said no. He threw in more goodies. 2 bottles free for VIP.

No.

Join as junior member, get 1 bottle and 1 mop free.

No.

Don’t need to join member. Buy 4 bottles and get 1 bottle free.

No.

Buy 4 bottles and get 1 bottle and 1 mop free.

No.

Buy 1 bottle and get 1 bottle free.

No.

Buy 1 bottle and 2 bottles free.

No no no.

Buy 1 bottle and 2 bottles, 1 mop free!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

He started to sound frustrated and lost his initial politeness. Said things like never seen a person like me,  renting a place at a few thousand rmb and refused to spend little money on cleaning products. He also said that even he is able to afford buying it.

What the hell, I told him I simply don’t need it and I have other cleaning products that I am satisfied with. Well, if he didn’t sound so frustrated and rude, I might have yielded. Sorry for wasting his time, however, 我吃软不吃硬，so his hard selling method only made me more unwilling to give his product a chance.

I should have learnt my lesson. Always made it clear that I am not going to make any purchase. No, should be never let anybody into the house for free demo session anymore.

And if I am keen on buying something, remember to refuse buying until they threw in all the goodies.

When domestic helpers get together, they tend to disuse or bitch about their employers.  Well, I am sure employers have similar sessions too. Anyway, beside the main topic education in Shanghai, Pek Cheng (the mom who stayed with us for the past week), we also talked about engaging domestic helpers to assist in the  daily chores.

She was quite surprise I seems to be rather busy. She observed that I have been washing, cleaning, tidying even though there is a part time helper to do the work. Not that she advocates leaving every task to the ayi, but she thinks that I shouldn’t spend so much time doing those chores and then complained about not having enough of it. Since the ayi will be here for the specific number of hours regardless of the amount of work to be done, it seems illogical that I complete the housekeeping work.

Oh well, I know I enjoy tidying and making the place presentable, but really agree that I am overdoing doing them. She pointed out that I could leave the dishes in the sink instead of washing and drying them after dinner. I could take out the vege and meat I would like for meals and leave it to the ayi to do the washing and cutting. And I should also stop spending time hand washing clothes and folding the washed laundry.

Simple things that need someone to knock some sense into me. I did manage to steal time to read to the kids and also to blog, practice calligraphy, surf the web, etc by leaving the pile of dirty dishes in the basin and reminding myself to stay away from the laundry basket. Unsightly, but time is more precious.

Donkey’s years ago, I applied to be a relief teacher at a kindergarten after my “A” Levels exam. I was confronted with 20+ active kids which seems to have unlimited energies. They were like little birds flying around and chirping nonstop, thousands of them. I surrendered on the second day even though it was an easy job, the noise was simply deafening and their movements gave me headache. From that time onwards, I am very sure I don’t posses any affinity with young children, I think I am afraid of them. That was why I chose to deal with teenagers during my teaching years, that are so much more interesting to interact with.

So, having 5 children at home these 9 days was a big challenge to me. The older ones required lots of attention because they got bored easily and needs activities to fill them up. The 2 toddlers needed even more attention because they were always fighting!

As I mentioned earlier, 弟弟 was handling the new friends very well during the first few days. However, we noticed that he was back to his old “little monster form” these few days. He refused to go to bed and made a big fused each night crying. He got angry easily and tend to hit people when he was agitated. He was very protective of his books and toys and tried to snatch them back if the 小哥哥 and 小妹妹 took them. However, if Zeeyau or the other 大姐姐(8yrs old) took them, he was more willing to share. We thought he probably felt threaten by the presence of the 妹妹 who is just 1 month younger and frustrated with the 哥哥 because he always “kachiao” (teased) him.

Luckily my friend and I shared similar mindset towards raising and handling children and had been quite cool with all these squabbles and conflicts, else friends might become foes in the end.

Anyway, the family has returned home and the situation is back to normal, it is just 弟弟 and myself at home now. 弟弟 seems to have shift back to his big boy self. Got to guide this boy carefully and and purge that violent and aggressive aspect from him.

We are having big friends and little friends from Malaysia at our place since Monday and I have been baby sitting the children since their mummy is busy shopping for schools. With 5 kids at home, I am surprised that our “friendly” neighbour downstairs has not made any visit yet. Maybe my place is really well padded now, or maybe they have surrendered. Oh well, most probably because all the children are watching their steps!

These few days has been a good exposure to 弟弟. He rarely has the chance to mingle with so many children all day long. With a little 妹妹 (just 1 month younger then 弟弟) who throw tantrums and to fight toys with  and older 哥哥who  wants to play with him but couldn’t get him to understand instruction and another  姐姐who isn’t keen to play with him because he is too young and has problem communicating with, he has to learn to handle all these new people and find ways to interact with them.

He seems to be showing sign of maturity. And I have realised that 弟弟 is actually quite easy to handle nowadays. He is really growing up to be a big boy now!

Zeeyau is a great walker since she was a toddler and as we used to walk to and from the grandfather’s place almost everyday,. She was taught to read the traffic light signal to train her to cross the road safely (just in case she ran too fast ahead of me and I couldn’t catch up with her before the junction).

This was quite easy and straight forward in Singapore. Go at “green” man, stop at “red man” and “flashing man”. It is fairly safe as drivers observe traffic rules except for some reckless ones.

However, after coming here, our rules has changed to stop at “every man”. Drivers observed a different set of traffic rules here and motorists have priority over pedestrians. Back home, drivers have to give way to pedestrian at the crossing while negotiating a left or right turn at junctions. Here, pedestrians better 乖乖 wait for the cars to clear before attempting to cross. I have seen a few rare instances where drivers  stop to give way to the pedestrians, but they were greeted with loud honking from the impatient drivers behind them.

Taking a car ride here can be pretty exciting at times. There are traffic rules in place, but sometimes I felt the rules mean “no rule”. Every now and then, you see cars driving through red lights signal, stopping in the middle of the road (with the driver missing, weird) or even driving in opposite direction. The scariest incident we have met so far was a car in front of us suddenly decided to do a U-turn right ahead of us in the middle of a street.

It will take a while before we decide to get a car or even try to drive around.

Zeeyau’s dance class in action! That girl in black and white leggings is Zeeyau. The second picture shows the girls doing their 民族舞，learning a peakcock dance routine.

Class started at 9.30am sharp, but most of the girls arrived like 10 minutes earlier. Time wasn’t wasted loitering around if you arrived early, but used to practice some stretching exercise. All the girls automatically headed towards the mirrored walls and did the “wall hugging” exercise. The more senior girls didn’t need help from the teachers anymore. Newer students like Zeeyau were constantly reminded by the teachers to straightened their backs and moved their butts towards the wall.

I saw fewer girls compared to the first time we attended the session. I guess there were quite a few girls on trial class that day. I remembered a mother with a girl about the age of 3 or 4 years old. She spent a huge effort coercing the girl to join the class. The girl wasn’t quite cooperative with the mother and refused to join until the mother agreed to stay by her side.  If she realised the mother had moved further away from her, she will ran back to join the mother. She ended up crying from time to time.

After about an hour, the mother finally gave up and removed her from the class. I was at the door during her departure and her final words still rings in my ear “ 人家女孩儿都喜欢跳舞， 就不明白为什么你不喜欢。” Somehow I felt she was very disappointed that her girl wasn’t able to fufill her expectation. I admit I have grand dreams with my kids, but I hope this serves as a good reminder to me not to push the kids to do or learn things so as to fulfill my expectation against their wish. Sometimes, they just aren’t ready yet.

(well, easier said then done. I still have lots of great expectations…lol)

I have put my well loved (and hated too) Nokia 8800 to rest since coming to Shanghai. It was very inconvenient to carry two mobile phones around since most foreigner like me will have at least 2 numbers.  So, I was given this 山寨 Nokia 8800, which has dual sim card feature. My 山寨机 belongs to the lower end one, though the design and exterior looks similar to the real one. I have seen the more expensive model, the 手感 and finishing is even more 正点。

And while I was in 阿里旺旺 (the chatting platform for alibaba.com and taobao.com), I received an advertisement to browse a store boasting new stock of 外贸正品 branded POLO T-shirts.  Ah, my favourite - cheaper and like the real thing. However, the featured item seems to exhibit dual identity. The branding and logo say POLO, but the tartan details shouted Burberry.

I have wasted a great deal of time browsing online shopping site lately looking for cute, interesting, pretty or cheap deals. I also spent a great number of time trying to figure out the meaning of various terms like 山寨，正品，原单，尾单 etc, so as not to fall prey into buying imitations thinking they are the real thing, or paying exorbitant prices for fake goods.

So, after some reading up, this is what I have found out:

外贸原单（也叫余单、尾单）： 国外大品牌提供面料、版型，到国内寻找厂家生产。那些质量合格的，就是专卖店里的”正品”。 The order placed by foreign big brands commissioning local factory to manufacture their merchandise. The big brands will normally provide the design, pattern or even raw materials. The finished products that passed QC will be sold in boutiques or departmental stores, with the tags and branding intact.

跟单：”原版”面料，搭配一批国内辅料（如扣子、拉链、衬里等），采用和正品一样的版型做出原来的款式，就是”跟单货”。Orders manufactured using similar mold, design and material (eg: fabric) like the original item, however, some finishing or parts are different from the original item.

仿单： 与原厂没有任何关系的厂商模仿正单的原料、款式生产。质量参差不齐，没有保证。因没有商标授权厂家为了便于上市销售，经常换以自己现有的品牌商标。imitation

真品：指合法大牌专卖店出售，带有真品化验单，标签，挂牌等的商品。The legitimate real thing that passed quality control, have tags and are sold in boutiques or departmental stores.

正品：质量符合规定标准的就叫正品。真品原厂原模生产,和真品生产原料，款式，设计，品质一样，但少化验报告单，或商标被剪，或有少许瑕疵。The illegitimate merchandise manufactured by the original factory that doesn’t posses/pass QC or have had their branding tags removed.

原单货，正品尾单，外贸尾单，尾货：因生产量过大（超出客户要求数量）或海关原因剩余、滞留的部分，以及生产环节中出现轻微瑕疵部分的统称。庶出也。The illegitimate merchandise resulting from factory excesses, custom problem or manufacturing hiccups.

A、B品 ：正品之下，还分A品，B品。A品，B品纯属质量上的分类。只要是通过正规检测的A品，就成了可以送往各地上市销售的正品。那些不通过检测的，就是B品。这些B品或被销毁，或通过各种渠道流入市场。After manufacturing the legitimate real thing, they will be rated into A grade or B grade. The Aces have passed QC and are now promoted to the rank of  “branded stuff” and will be distributed to the various boutiques. The B graders failed QC and will be destroyed, or flow into the mass market thru some special avenues.

仿货，仿品：模仿正单的原料、款式生产的商品。imitations, fakes.

超A货、A货、B货、C货：仿货本身也有分级。超A（或特 A，AA）当然是仿货中最好的（质量，手工可能和正品不相上下，几乎可以以假乱真），C货就不用多说了。Different gradings of imitation goods. “A+”, “AA” being the top tier that is comparable to the real legitimate ones. The lower grades one can be real trash.

That was what I have learnt recently, and the terms can still be confusing and overlapping in certain areas. Different goods have their own set of definition too. Well, still have a lot to pick up.

Aright, back to usual business and not some funny side tracks.

弟弟 will be 2years old in 10 days time, yet he is still drooling like a baby. Strangely, Zeeyau almost didn’t drool in her baby years, but her little brother has a leakage problem. He is perpetually drooling all the time. The only time he stops dripping was during the time he was sick and when he was terrified by the firecrackers. I think during those times, he was too weak or scared to open his mouth and managed to contain the liquid inside his mouth.

He drooled so much that our sofa here was covered with water marks and stains and I have to protect the sofa with a piece of sofa throw. We can’t changed his T-shirt all the time like what we did back in Singapore, so I could only use a bib to catch his saliva. Problem is, most bibs on sale are velcro strap style. He was never trained to wear bibs from young and hence dislike that strange piece of cloth over his neck. He removed the velcro strap bibs easily, so we could only rely on the old fashioned tying style.

And those old fashion tying bibs weren’t easy to find. I managed to buy a set from mothercare and got another set here in Shanghai  after much scouting. Ah, I wish he could learn the art of managing his saliva soon.